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Connecting with the After Life, 6 Lessons

This Spring I did a deep dive into connecting with loved ones who’ve passed on, and learned some very deep and important things along the way. This was a personal project of mine: though I have been called to clear houses and to help individuals who felt very, let’s say, “pestered” by beings, and I often work with the deceased/spiritual beings, I had never specifically connected with loved ones on the other side for clients to talk to, outside of my training and a few times for my mom. Connecting with loved ones who’ve passed on is a big part of this calling, however, and I knew that I’d be asked to do it for clients eventually. However, my confidence was really low about it.

The only way to remedy fear and a lack of confidence is through practice. You need to practice, you need to be wrong sometimes, and you need to learn how to navigate. So that’s what I did: I offered my services for free to my neighbors and booked about 20 deep, hour-long sessions specifically geared toward connecting with loved ones on the other side, with the caveat that they would be gentle with me because, as my mentor would say, I’m a baby psychic and this is a baby business. This was like creating my own spiritual clinical hours.

Through these sessions I learned a few important things that I want to share here, as they might help you and you might find them interesting. There were a number of common threads through my readings, so it seems like these little garnets of information might feel useful to more than a few people. So in no particular order, here are the heartbeats that I learned:


Many, many times, the departed were so happy and full of love for their family and they were so excited to connect. The surprising thing was that they didn’t care at all about things that may have plagued the living. Just little details where living adult children, say, may have felt guilt for one reason or another. Every time this came up, the dead simply didn’t care–their love for their child was all-encompassing and that’s all they cared about. The rest wasn’t only forgiven; it was a minor detail that didn’t matter. All that mattered was their love for their child. They could have cared less about anything else. They were thinking big picture. This was very healing for many people.


The departed know a lot of details about our lives, which makes me wonder if privacy exists. The details were so intimate. I’m not sure if those in the spirit world can simply read energy or see time and events differently, or if they were actually there, but they would say things like “Eat a peanut butter sandwich,” and then I’d learn that my client had a funny story about peanut butter. Or they’d show me a picture of a heart painted on the wall and the client would tell me that she painted a heart on the wall before painting the wall but no one was there and no one knew. They seemed to know things about the lives of their loved ones that surprised their loved ones. These weren’t big things; just mundane living events. For me personally, when a psychic I know connected with someone close to me, he showed her a bag of flour which was funny, because I’d just bought 50 lbs of flour that day.


Some beings are really effusive. They want to touch their children. They want to hug them. They want to fawn over them. Sometimes all they say is “I love you,” and hearts show up. However, this isn’t always the case. Sometimes they’re very calm and pensive and the same as they were when they were alive, and that’s normal. What’s normal is everyone is how they were when they were alive. I just, for whatever reason, wasn’t expecting the occasional effusiveness. I thought the spirits would just stand there and talk and didn’t expect them to want to hold and kiss their adult children.


For me, personally, I don’t have to ask for things that only the client and the departed know about, like a test. Instead, what I learned is that details that only the client knows about come up no matter what, because this is a relationship between the departed and the client. Also, I don’t have to know what anything means. Often I’ll say something and it will have more significance to the client than to me. In fact, I may not know what it means at all. For example, one time the departed showed me a penny. I thought it meant one thing when, in fact, it was the name of someone important to both of them. So, just an fyi, I sometimes have no idea what I’m talking about. Haha. My clients do, though, and that’s the important part.


I can have a hard time seeing things and can say that. I can say, “they’re hard to see right now,” and that’s OK. Or I can say something and it might not resonate. This happens and it simply doesn’t matter. A lot of other information makes sense to the client and does resonate, and some might resonate later or not at all. This was a lesson in self-forgiveness and grace for me, and another way to love my client by being honest and open with them, and pivoting if needed, trying to see in a different way. Fortunately, every person I’ve worked with has given me the grace to make mistakes or to have trouble seeing. I’m pretty lucky I have such wonderful clients.


This is intimate, private, extremely important and deep work that’s really, really close to my client’s hearts. My clients immediately taught me how to hold space in a deeper way, and for that I’m super grateful. And, mid-sentence writing this, an employee at the cafe I’m at handed me a treat and said, “This is my all favorite pastry and we’re donating a bunch so I thought you should have one.” So thank you, Universe. I’ll take that as a sign that this is a good point to end on. I learned that this work is heartwork, and it’s serious, and it’s important. It’s deeply important to my client’s hearts. It’s an honor to be there.

So, those were all things that came up from this deep experience I had with my amazing clients/volunteers who were kind and brave enough to let me practice with them. And I’m super grateful and thankful for everyone in the future who lets me work with them. Thank you for your support, your kindness, and your grace.

Big hugs,

  • Paige

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